Finding the right person for you isn’t as easy as they make it seem in the movies. Romantic comedies are giving unrealistic expectations and planting the idea that finding your wonderful and perfect soul-mate is as easy as reaching for the same cereal box at the supermarket, locking eyes from across a crowded room, or unwittingly falling for your dastardly yet handsome work adversary, or even your best friend who has been there for you and madly in love for years, yet you never noticed.
A lot of my friends, whether they are male or female seem to struggle to find a partner. I recently discovered why it seems so difficult to find someone, and the reason isn’t because they are not finding someone suitable or have common interests, nor the fact that they aren’t finding someone they are attracted to, or being too picky (at the end of the day no one should just settle for anyone).
What seems to be the problem is the huge rulebook. This rulebook appears to be controlled by the single friends, who think they are relationship experts. Yet, they are still single themselves? The rulebook is all about who calls/texts first, how many times, when and how you can or should call/text. Friends get involved, giving not so much advice but more of what you should and should not do, not allowing the 2 individuals to act as they wish and create a deeper connection by expressing their feelings towards each other, causing confusion and pushing each other away instead of getting closer.
Personally I don’t understand why things have to be so complicated. You either like someone or you don’t, simple as that! If you do like someone why be scared to admit it, show it or say it? What is the worst that could possibly happen? The other person not feeling the same way, in which case you move on and you’re not wasting your time or theirs. I was told that telling someone that you like them they can get scared and run away. Well… if they run away they were not serious about you in the first place, which means you can waste 6 months of your life going on dates with that person and in the end they will still run away because they are not around for the right or same reasons as you.
I do believe a bit of mystery is good but playing mind games and trying to be difficult isn’t necessarily attractive. It is everyone’s best interest (except from being yourself of course) to be honest about your feelings and what you want since the very beginning. It makes it a lot easier to find the right person for you and no one gets hurt, but this is just my opinion. I have been out of the dating scene for a very long time, things/times change, but I doubt they change that much.