It’s been an absolute hectic few months since returning back from our honeymoon, which has led to meeting a lot of new interesting and different people. It’s become quite the norm these days to ask questions such as relationship status when you’re getting to know someone. Sometimes you don’t even need to ask, people with partners will start talking about them even if you don’t ask (can get too much at times).
I’ve come across lots of singles saying that they are “happily single”. Which makes me wonder, is that a statement? Or is it something that makes them feel better? Are you trying to convince me or yourself by saying it out loud?
I am not doubting that someone could actually be happier by themselves and enjoy the single lifestyle, but at the same time isn’t everyone seeking for love, that someone special?
The single life is often viewed as negative, but is it really? Living single symbolises freedom, independence and untapped potential for growth. The most obvious stigma attached to the single life is that one ominous word ‘alone.’ Singles do most things alone, and even though you don’t have to feel lonely in the process, you do. You could either learn how to take what you have and use it to make a happy, successful life on your own or find someone to build a life together.
I have had friends in the past that have been lining up the their dates, one after the other, 2 to 3 dates on the same day, meeting up with all these new guys or girls they got to know on some online dating site, and each time they would get disappointed they’d say they give up, they are happy to be single and they will just have fun with being single. Yet, on our next chat their minds have changed again, and it is all because of feeling lonely.
In saying that, it doesn’t mean people in relationships are with someone just so they don’t feel lonely. There is way more to it than just that, which I will explain further below.
So, happily single? What is happily single? Our species aren’t designed to be happily single. We go in duos, whether we like it or not. Everyone wants to be loved by another person, someone we can call our lover, best friend and companion, share absolutely everything with. Sharing your life with someone else, always being together, if not in person, then at least in mind and sharing each other’s pain, but also happiness of course.
Do you ever wonder what draws so many people into a relationship? I sure do. Why are so many people having the urge to have that one special person in their lives? Most would agree it is to share feelings and ideas with someone who truly cares, who doesn’t judge you, who wishes the best for you and tries to help you. It feels normal, right? But, could it just be some old fashioned unwritten society rule classified as normal?
Here is a number of things why most people prefer to be in a relationship:
- You have someone to come home to, cook and dine with, spend the rest of the evening snuggled up with, watching Netflix movies/shows. Who wouldn’t love that?
- Having someone to talk to and opening up to not only in good times but also tough times. There is nothing like a supportive, understanding and caring partner that would do anything to cheer you up in tough times.
- You have someone to help you with the ‘To-Do’ list (household duties/chores). Having someone to share a To-Do list, makes life so much easier for both.
- You don’t feel awkward at social events where there’s always happy couples and feel like you can’t relate.
- When single, you don’t have anyone checking up on you if you’re working late or taking care of you when you’re feeling sick. Even though the thought of having no one to report to could be quite satisfying, at times it can make you feel as if ‘nobody cares’ (which is not true). We all want a little attention of some sort.
- You have someone to be spontaneous with. Even if all your friends are busy doing something else, or having a party they forgot to invite you to, you simply don’t care as you have your partner and you two could do something just as fun. This can be so much more satisfying than being with a large group of people.
- You have someone to focus your love and adoration upon. Somehow, when people are in relationships they change. Most cases for the best. When in a relationship, we tend to push one another, which makes us become more motivated, more ambitious and we constantly seek for self-improvement in order to succeed not only for individual satisfaction, but also to make our partners proud.
In general, relationships can be emotionally more fulfilling. They offer comfort and companionship, physical intimacy, individual growth, consideration, a sense of fun, playfulness and adventure. But, is that enough to be happy?
People are waiting longer than ever to get married, many choosing not to get married at all, and others ending up single later in life due to divorce or widowhood, there are more single people than ever. Research has suggested people that are in relationships are happier than singles, but it’s not clear if relationships is what actually makes people happy.
As with most things, there is unlikely to be a one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to relationships and happiness. On the one hand, a partner can offer valuable social support and help you combat loneliness. On the other hand, relationships can come with conflicts and disappointments that make people less happy. So it is quite reasonable to assume that relationships can make some people happier, while other people may be better off remaining single.
Even though most people out there seek for love and happiness, it doesn’t necessarily mean that a relationship will make you happier. In the end, it all depends on the person you are and finding that right match for you in order to really succeed.
So, what makes YOU really happy? Do you think being in a relationship makes you a better person? Or do you enjoy being on your own?